09 July 2014

DREAM DIARY #4 - Soccer-Basketball, I Did Not Invite You Here...

Hello BITC readers... its been quite a long while. Needless to say anything more than here is my latest dream I would like to share with everyone. Salut!

I was on a floating version of my childhood driveway-slash-basketball court... there were a dozen or more, what seemed to be friends of mine, playing basketball... with no hands. Literally, they had no hands and were using their feet. I HAD hands, but also, when the ball was passed to me, used my feet. In a flash I was at a bar. To my right there was low talking by familiar voices. I quickly turned my head and it was a pal of mine directly by my side, who I just immediately knew was very important and everyone in the place knew it. He was being talked at by a, what seemed to me, "up & comer" - and was being polite about it. There was a man in between them, but I could not see his face. The one-way discussion becomes a conversation and escalates rapidly. I cannot remember what was said exactly, but the man furthest from me stands up and pulls out his gun, hoisting it in the air and firing a shot. The bar clears out, including my "important" friend... its just me and hot shot, and he spills a drink on the bar in front of where I was sitting. It drips onto my lap and I proclaim, "what did I ever do to you!?" And he replies, "I don't know..." and stares at me, waiting. I huff and puff as I walk around him and out of the building, which within a moment, turns into a frantic flee running down stairwells, thru hallways, and past groups of children in what seemed to be a school-like setting, then a church, then a museum, all in the same building, all with people running from the man with the gun or so I thought. Somewhere stuck in all of this, there is a moment, on a balcony of warehouse like buildings. I am there with a woman (girl) that I knew in high school. I have not seen her in person SINCE high school and we really don't know anything about each other, sans Facebook info. Her face lights up, "Its so good to see you John!" I chuckle and agree. "Your hair! Its... a little thin." As she runs her fingers thru my front hairline. "Oh, well, you know..." I mumble confusedly and a bit startled since no one has ever told me that. (In real life I totally bolted to the bathroom after waking up and performed a thorough inspection of what seemed to be my regular hairline, phew.) There are slight breezes that pass and lots of dust in the air, but we don't talk much. More like a moment frozen in time than anything else. She was beautiful, I must admit. Flash back to the museum-like building and the race from the crazy gunman is over, but who am I now? Am I the same man who ran throughout these halls and stairs? It kinda does not feel like it. Regardless, I find myself sitting at a small table with maybe the same woman from the balcony...? Everything is a bit off here and I realize I am choking on a food substance mixed with paper. I am pulling this weird mixture of stuff out of my mouth. She looks on and asks something to the effect of "what is wrong with you? what are you doing?" And now the finale... as I spit out the final pieces of whatever-that-was-in-my-mouth I bellow, "Who ARE you?! Did I ask you to come here? What are you doing asking me that shit?! I didn't invite you here!" Cut (dream)scene. END.

19 March 2013

"It Works!" by RHJ ~ Full Transcript & Review of "The Famous Little Red Book That Makes Your Dreams Come True!"

Below is "It Works!" with my review in red letters. I shouldn't say much here, so I'll leave my review and the text of "It Works!" to speak for itself. Enjoy, in joy! ~ JVR

IT WORKS by RHJ ~ oooh, mysterious anonymous author could suck people in or deter them, what do you choose? Matters not to me...
"The Famous Little Red Book That Makes Your Dreams Come True!" ~ the book does not do anything. YOU do it all. The book just has The Plan written inside. I like the enthusiasm though.
*the author sent the manuscript of this book for criticism to a friend who returned it with the notation, "It WORKS. (from JFS)" This judgement born of experience was adopted as the title of the book. - Publishers ~ Short and sweet. I like it already.
"All who joy would win must share it, Happiness is born a twin." - BYRON ~ I do not know who Byron is, but not only is the author mysterious, but the publishing company too. Dig into it all, it'll take you places... oh, it will.

Copyright 1926, 1953
ISBN: 978-087516-323-9
Forty-fourth Printing, 2008

DeVorss & Company, Publisher
PO Box 1389
Camarillo, CA 93011-1389

A concise, definite, resultful plan with rules, explanations and suggestions for bettering your condition in life.

If you KNOW what you WANT you can HAVE IT ~ I find this a bit misleading and contradictory for them to put out there so boldly as the whole book seems to center on the key of knowing HOW to go about the getting part. Just knowing and wanting does not mean you can have it.

The man who wrote this book is highly successful and widely known for his generosity and helpful spirit. he gives full credit for all that he has accomplished in mastering circumstances, accumulating wealth, and winning friends to the silent working out of the simple, yet powerful truth which he tells of in his work. He shows you here an easy, open road to a larger, happier life. Knowing that the greatest good comes from helping others without expecting praise, the author of this work has requested that his name be omitted.

Are some people born under a lucky star or other charm which enables them to have all that which seems so desirable, and if not, what is the cause of the difference in conditions under which men live?

Many years ago, feeling that there must be a logical answer to this question, I decided to find out, if possible, what it was. I found the answer to my own satisfaction, and for years, have given the information to others who have used it successfully.

From a scientific, psychological or theological viewpoint, some of the following statements may be interpreted as incorrect, but nevertheless, the plan has brought the results desired to those who have followed the simple instructions, and it is my sincere belief that I am now presenting it in a way which will bring happiness and possessions to many more.

"If wishes were horses, beggars would ride," is the attitude taken by the average man and woman in regard to possessions. They are not aware of a power so near that it is overlooked; so simple in operation that it is difficult to conceive, and so sure in results that it is not made use of consciously, or recognized as the cause of failure or success.

"Gee, I wish that were mine," is the outburst of Jimmy, the office boy, as a new red roadster goes by; and Florence, the telephone operator, expresses the same thought regarding a ring in the jeweler's window; while poor old Jones, the bookkeeper, during the Sunday stroll, replies to his wife, "Yes, dear, it would be nice to have a home like that, but it is out of the question. We will have to continue to rent." Landem, the salesman, protests that he does all the work, gets the short end of the money and will some day quit his job and find a real one, and President Bondum, in his private sanctorum, voices a bitter tirade against the annual attack of hay-fever.

At home it is much the same. Last evening, father declared that daughter Mabel was headed straight for disaster, and today, mother's allowance problem and other tring affairs fade into insignificance as she exclaims, "This is the last straw. Robert's school teacher wants to see me this afternoon. His reports are terrible, I know, but I'm late for Bridge now. She'll have to wait until tomorrow." So goes the endless stream of expressions like these from millions of people in all classes who give no thought to what they really want, and who are getting all they are entitled to or expect. ~ reminds me of when I heard the song "Just" by Radiohead for the first time... "you do it to yourself, you do and that's what really hurts. you do it to yourself just you, you and no one else, you do it to yourself."

If you are one of these millions of thoughtless talkers or wishers and would like to decided change from your present condition, you can have it; but first of all you must know what you want and this is no easy task. When you can train your OBJECTIVE MIND (the mind you use everyday) to decide definitely upon the things or conditions you desire, you will have taken your first big step in accomplishing or securing what you know you want.

To get what you want is no more mysterious or uncertain than the radio waves all around you. Tune in correctly and you get a perfect result, but to do this it is, of course, necessary to know something of your equipment and have a plan of operation. ~ humans operate on a miniscule frequency of an eternal, consciousness radio of the All. To think we know anything is hilarious to me, but probably blasphemous in the face of the Universal Mind.

You have within you a mighty power, anxious and willing to serve you, a power capable of giving you that which you earnestly desire. This power is described by Thomson Jay Hudson, Ph.D., LL.D., author of "The Law of Psychic Phenomena," as your SUBJECTIVE MIND. Other learned writers use different names and terms, but all agree that it is omnipotent. Therefore, I call this Power "Emmanuel" (God in us). ~ my Grampa's middle name is Emmanuel. I wonder if he ever read this book?

Regardless of the name of this Great Power, or the conscious admission of a God, the Power is capable and willing to carry to a complete and perfect conclusion every earnest desire of your objective mind, but you must be really in earnest about what you want. ~ a great question to be asked over and over... are you EARNEST? What does your heart say? Where is your heart? STOP THINKING, especially with your Left-brain!

Occasional wishing or half-hearted wanting does not form a perfect connection or communication with your omnipotent power. You must be in earnest, sincerely and truthfully desiring certain conditions or things - mental, physical, or spiritual.

Your objective mind and will are so vacillating that you usually only WISH for things and the wonderful, capable power within you does not function.

Most wishes are simply coval expressions. Jimmy, the office boy, gave no thought of possessing the red roadster. Landem, the salesman, was not thinking of any other job or even thinking at all. President Bondum knew he had hay fever and was expecting it. Father's business was quite likely successful, and mother no doubt brought home first prize from the Bridge party that day, but they had no fixed idea of what they really wanted their children to accomplish and were actually helping to bring about the unhappy conditions which existed.

If you are in earnest about changing your present condition, here is a concise, definite, resultful plan, with rules, explanations and suggestions.

Write down on paper in order of their importance the things and conditions you really want. Do not be afraid of wanting too much. Go the limit in writing down your wants. Change the list daily, adding to or taking from it, until you have it about right. Do not be discouraged on account of changes, as this is natural. There will always be changes and additions with accomplishments and increasing desires.

1) Read the list of what you want three times each day: morning, noon, and night.
2) Think of what you want as often as possible.
3) Do not talk to anyone about your plan except to the Great Power within you which will unfold to your Objective Mind the method of accomplishment.

It is obvious that you cannot acquire faith at the start. Some of your desires, from all practical reasoning, may seem positively unattainable, but, nevertheless, write them down on your list in their proper place of importance to you.

There is no need to analyze how this Power within you is going to accomplish your desires. Such a procedure is as unnecessary as trying to figure out why a grain of corn placed in fertile soil shoots up a green stalk, blossoms and produces an ear of corn containing hundreds of grains, each capable of doing what the one grain did. If you will follow this definite plan and carry out the three simple rules, the method of accomplishment will unfold quite as mysteriously as the ear of corn appears on the stalk, and in most cases much sooner than you expect. ~ Sounds easy right?
When new desires, deserving position at or about the top of your list, come to you, then you may rest assured you are progressing correctly.

Removing from your list items which at first you thought you wanted, is another sure indication of progress.

It is natural to be skeptical and have doubts, distrust and questionings, but when these thoughts arise, get out your list. Read it over; or if you have it memorized, talk to your inner self about your desires until the doubts that interfere with your progress are gone. Remember, nothing can prevent your having that which you earnestly desire. Others have these things. Why not you? ~ I do not like those last two sentiments... it seems "It Works!" gets a bit materialistic, but maybe that's my ego rearing its ugly head? What do you feel about that?

The Omnipotent Power within you does not enter into any controversial argument. It is waiting and willing to serve when you are ready, but your objective mind is so susceptible to suggestion that it is almost impossible to make any satisfactory progress when surround by skeptics. Therefore, choose your friends carefully and associate with people who now have some of the things you really want, but do not discuss your method of accomplishment with them.

Put down on your list of wants such material things as money, home, automobile, or whatever it may be, but do not stop there. Be more definite. If you want an automobile, decide what kind, style, price, color, and all the other details, including when you want it. If you want a home, plan the structure, grounds and furnishings. Decide on location and cost. If you want money, write down the amount. If you want to break a record in your business, put it down. It may be a sales record. If so, write out the total, the date required, then the number of items you must sell to make it, also list your prospects and put after each name the sum expected. This may seem very foolish at first, but you can never realize your desires if you do not know positively and in detail what you want and when you want it. If you cannot decide this, you are not in earnest. You must be definite, and when you are, results will be surprising and almost unbelievable.

A natural and ancient enemy will no doubt appear when you get your first taste of accomplishment. This enemy is Discredit, in form of such thoughts as: "It can't be possible; it just happened to be. What a remarkable coincidence!"

When such thoughts occur give thanks and assert credit to your Omnipotent Power for the accomplishment. By doing this, you gain assurance and more accomplishment, and in time, prove to yourself that there is a law, which actually works-at all times-when you are in tune with it.

Sincere and earnest thanks cannot be given without gratitude and it is impossible to be thankful and grateful without being happy. Therefore, when you are thanking your greatest and best friend, your Omnipotent Power, for gifts received, do so with all your soul, and let it be reflected in your face. The Power and what it does is beyond understanding. Do no try to understand it, but accept the accomplishment with thankfulness, happiness, and strengthened faith.

It is possible to want and obtain that which will make you miserable; that which will make you miserable; that which will wreck the happiness of others; that which will cause sickness and death; that which will rob you of eternal life. You can have what you want, but you must take all that goes with it: so in planning your wants, plan that which you are sure will give to you and your fellow man the greatest good here on earth; thus paving the way to that future hope beyond the pale of human understanding.

This method of securing what you want applies to everything you are capable of desiring and the scope being so great, it is suggested that your first list consist of only those things with which you are quite familiar, such as an amount of money or accomplishment, or the possession of material things. Such desires as these are more easily and quickly obtained than the discontinuance of fixed habits, the welfare of others, and the healing of mental or bodily ills.

Accomplish the lesser things first. Then take the next step, and when that is accomplished, you will seek the higher and really important objectives in life, but long before you reach this stage of your progress, many worthwhile desires will find their place on your list. One will be to help others as you have been helped. Great is the reward to those who help and give without thought of self, as it is impossible to be unselfish without gain.

A short while ago, Dr. Emil Coue came to this country and showed thousands of people how to help themselves. Thousands of people how to help themselves. Thousands of others spoofed at the idea, refused his assistance and are today where they were before his visit.

So with the statements and plan presented to you now. You can reject or accept. You can remain as you are or have anything you want. The choice is yours, but God grant that you may find in this short volume the inspiration to choose aright, follow the plan and thereby obtain, as so many others have, all thing, whatever they may be, that you desire. ~ Is not every moment a choice? The eternal laugh... a vibration of the Divine!
Read the entire book over again, and again, AND THEN AGAIN. Memorize the three simple rules on pages thirteen and fourteen. Test them now on what you want most this minute. This book cold have extended easily over 350 pages, but it has been deliberately shortened to make it as easy as possible for you to read, understand and use. Will you try it? Thousands of bettered lives will testify to the fact that IT WORKS.

Dear Reader: The great possessions in life are all GIFTS mysteriously bestowed: sight, hearing, aspiration, love or life itself. The same is true of ideas-the richest of them are given to us, as for instance, the powerful idea which this book has given you. What are you going to do with it? Are you surprised when I tell you the most profitable thing you can do is to give it away? You can do this in an easy and practical way by having this book sent to those you know who NEED IT. In this way, you can help in the distribution of this worthwhile effort to make the lives of others better and happier. You know people who are standing still or who are worried and discouraged. This is your chance to HELP THEM HELP THEMSELVES. If you withhold this book from them you will lose the conscious satisfaction that comes from doing good. If you see that they get this book, then you put yourself in line with the Law of Life which says, "You get by giving," and you may rightly expect prosperity and achievement. At the very least you will have the inner sense of having done a good deed with no hope of being openly thanked and your reward will come secretly in added power and larger life.
~ THE AUTHOR ~ So, I believe this is another grand tool that has helped me build the reality of the Now I am currently occupying. I hoped to share this with many and All. Please have feedback for me and others and share til your heart's content. Thank you for visiting and reading. Namaste ~ YHVH, Om. ~ JVR

09 January 2013

Eileen at 16 ~ my Grandmother, 1946 - "Remember"

I am going thru a large case of old family photos to scan and digitally save. I came across a 5-page typed piece entitled Remember, with "written at age 16" scribbled across the top. I knew my Gramma wrote little poems here n there over the years but I was never aware of how she got to that place... I can see the budding poet in this sweet, yet spoiled outburst of innocent and wistful prose. I think I know where I got my love for the written word... the whimsy and the romance. She was all those things and she stays with me, not only the glamorous image, but her laugh and tone of her voice. She'll continue to whisper to me until I reach the dimension where her soul resides. I love you Gramma...

I felt compelled to share this with the world. A tribute to the her innocence, the time, and the love that surrounded her entire life. The picture is of her with my Great Grandfather.

Eileen, age 16, 1946. *Transcribed with all original punctuation and grammar.


I've been sitting alone in my room for almost an hour. The lamp beside my chair has spilled a puddle of golden nothingness into my lap and on the floor. From the kitchen the clatter of dishes being washed and put away, reaches with restless, disturbing fingers beneath the crack of my closed door. Outside, our neighbor hammers ceaselessly, nerve wrackingly at the roof of his newly built garage. It must be finished"before the snow flies!" I can see the moon hanging silvery thin in the branches of our poplar tree. I could touch it, almost. If I could dream as I did when I was seven, I could touch the moon! However, I'm past the stage of that kind of dreaming now. Still, I can't help feeling just a little wistful.

A multitude of thoughts keep running, walking, strolling though my mind, each out of step with, unrelated to the other. One, more persistent than the others is jeering derisively at me and insists upon directing my unwilling eyes to the large white envelope lying on the table beside me. Through the tears that have suddenly, without warning welled up in my eyes, I can see the words I wrote many months ago wobbling crazily across the smooth surface of that envelope. PROM FLOWERS NOVEMBER 1945*--DIDN'T GO.
Holding the familiar envelope in my hands, I'm trying in vain to quiet the little voice inside my head. That monstrous Demon! He lilts gleefully over and over again, remember, remember, remember! Why should I live it all over now, a whole year later? Sensibly, another voice is saying, of course you'll remember. Each time you hear the excited what-kind-ofs, who-withs and wheres that come inevitably with the nearing of Prom night, you'll remember. ”

Becoming partly reconciled to this certainty I find myself pulling gently at the contents of the envelope. Once again I'm holding the new brown and brittle bit of ribbon and leaves that is the only tangible thing I have left of last year's Prom. The two gardenias once velvety to the touch, deliciously dreamy cool and headily fragrant are now paper-thin and unlovely, bereft in death, of their former delicacy. Once shining emerald green leaves waxed to perfection are now gray, seamed and old, old! Only the silver ribbons remain intact, rather frayed at the ends but still able to shimmer at me as the light falls on them.

It all started on a July night a year ago. I had been dating one boy since school let out in June. He and I had talked about everything imaginable during the weeks we were learning to know and understand each other. However, we skirted around the subject of school. I suppose we both subconsciously thought that as long as school was out for three blessed months -- forget it!

That July evening we had taken a walk, just leisurely exploring side streets, not talking much, not caring where we were going. Finally we found a mere handkerchief-sized park tucked in among the rows of houses and we stopped. We scorned its border of benches, he sprawling in the soft grass, I leaning back against the foot of a tree near him. It was a soft warm night and the air was full of mysterious rustlings and twitterings.

We began to talk then, about the things we'd done that day about the people we knew and then, unexpectedly, about the Prom... He had been quiet for a moment. Then casually he said, "what kind of formal are you going to wear to the Prom? We're going, you know!" I glanced at him quickly and caught him as he slanted a questioning look my way. I'm afraid my reaction must have disappointed him. Although inside I was whirling round and round on a fluffy, pink cloud, outwardly I managed to appear as calm as if he had just said, "let's go to the show tomorrow night."

The Prom! My dearest wish had been, was, and still is, to be a part of that annual long anticipated affair. From that night on I dreamed outrageous dreams, dreams just a little vain and self-important. But I guess every girl planning to go to the Prom, dreams of being the loveliest girl there. I visualized myself looking exotic in a sheath of black satin, a single strand of pearls enhancing its beauty. Then I saw myself floating on a cloud of white net sprinkled with stars, a halo of stars in my hair to match those in my eyes. I tried on a gown of every color and style imaginable, twirling and turning before the mirror of my mind.

Meanwhile the summer days fled past and lazy, golden September came and with it school again. As the weeks went by, more and more we girls gathered in tight little knots to chatter endlessly concerning formals, "our men" and destinations for after the Prom.

My would-be escort had arranged everything with another couple who had a car. So we were all set for "after the Prom." It's a known fact that a car on Prom night is definitely a necessity!

Finally Mom decided it was time to start our search for The Formal. Little fool that I was, I started out, blithely thinking I'd find a perfect dream of a dress at the very first store we went into. Not so! None was so weary and discouraged as I, unless it was poor, harassed Mom, when we finally decided to find a restaurant where we could relax and I could collect my frantic thoughts. Surely, somewhere in Milwaukee, The Formal was hanging just waiting for me to come find it. At helpful, hopeful Mom's suggestion, I fairly shrieked, "I simply can't wear that formal I wore in a Junior High School play - - it's so childish!"

After soothing me with gentle words of reassurance and lunch, Mom remembered a place we hadn't tried. Once she'd gotten a lovely dress there. So we went, we looked, and we found it. I knew the moment I held it up against me that I'd found The Formal! I went back to the little dressing room and slipped it on shivering with delight as the whispering folds of black and rose taffeta settled about my feet. Vaguely I heard the saleswoman murmuring typical saleswomanish phrases, but I was barely conscious of her presence. I was on that fluffy pink cloud again, whirling and whirling.

Of course, we bought the dress. Although it could have been sent to Kenosha, I insisted upon carrying it in it's awkward box. How I struggled on the crowded train! But it was worth my trouble for didn't I have it then, hanging in my closest so that I could look at it, touch it, every hour.

When he called the next day, I began at once to describe the formal in detail. Then I stopped. His voice! "What's the matter," I managed weakly, "You haven't got a cold?" A hoarse "yes" was all I needed. A dreadful feeling of hopelessness came over me. Suppose we couldn't go! Suppose *-- again I stopped. How selfish, how terribly, unthinkably selfish I was being. Certainly his health was more important than six Proms. I tried to assure him that he could most certainly be rid of his cold in a week. In fact I had some really find cold pills that would fix him up in no time. Had he signed up? Yes-- well then, we had nothing to worry about. Everything would turn out. I crossed my fingers as I spoke.

That Saturday morning and we had a date for that night. When I saw him, I knew that my cold pills would have to work miracles. I dosed him with two, and so fortified, we went out. He was miserable, I could see. But he tried so hard to be his gay, normal self that he had me believing things would turn out in our favor.

On Sunday his cold seemed better. I breathed easier, and then --- the following week was an eternity of worry for me. He didn't attend school at all that week and the few times he could call me, his voice told me that he was a very sick boy.

On Friday afternoon, just eight hours before the Prom, he came to school. He could barely talk and he was so weak, I could have cried just watching him. I knew he'd gotten out of a sick bed for me and my throat hurt with the tenderness I felt for him.

At about five o'clock the boy we were about to double with drove him to the house. He came in with a florists box. I opened it with trembling fingers and held my first corsage close to my lips. Oh no, I couldn't cry. I mustn't, not then! For, after one look at his dark eyes, I knew what an effort he had made. They were heavy and dull with fever and his cracked lips couldn't even manage a smile for me. I thanked him with my eyes; I didn't trust myself to speak. He left soon, saying he'd call me or have the other boy call to let me know whether we would go or not.

Then, I began the ritual of bathing, hair combing and making-up, slowly, careful not to think too much. By eight I was ready except for my dress. Then the phone rang. I crossed my fingers and with my heart pounding in my throat, picked up the receiver. Oh, to hear his voice saying we'd go. I listened carefully as the other boy said, "He's in no condition to go anywhere -- in a coma -- doctors." I caught these words and my mind went into a tail-spin. As calmly as I could, I thanked the other boy and hung up. Then not calmly at all, I began to cry -- for myself, for the dress that couldn't be worn, for the night that wouldn't be ours and then not for myself at all.

He was in a coma! Perhaps it was pneumonia! Suddenly I wanted to be near him, to help him in some way. He had gotten out of bed to get my flowers; to bring them to me. How he lay suffering because of that, while I sat crying in self-pity.

I took my flowers from their green tissue paper nest and held them close to my face. If only I could tell him that nothing mattered except that he get well and strong again. I had his flowers, hadn't I.

I slept with those flowers beside me that night. In the morning I called his home and his sister assured me that he was resting easier and was out of danger. The relief that swept over me, left me weak. I pressed the flowers close to my face and cried away the worries that lurked like cobwebs in my mind.

(hand-written ending) He's well and strong now, of course. We've done a lot of dancing and laughing together since then. The dress had been sold and my thoughts very seldom touch on the memory. It's only when I hold the flowers, rather the remainder of the flowers, that it all comes back to me so poignantly again.


(Words, sounds, emotions... all Vibrations affect WATER! This is a "happy" water molecule.)

Water can be happy, thus making YOU happy. Water is ALIVE. It has memory and YOU can make it a positive or negative thing for the vibrations you and your surroundings give off, water feels. Water FEELS.

check out the blog post that I have linked above. Send an email to the address listed and find out the bright future of drinking the best water possible... all the best,


JVR xo

01 November 2012

BULLETPROOF COFFEE will change your life. Thank you Dave Asprey!

From the first moment I tasted "coffee," I hated coffee. Someone gave me a poisonous concoction at a bowling alley when I was 11 or so. Fake sugar, fake cream, and probably Folger's in my cup. I was traumatized for years. Then I started smoking cigarettes. Then I started drinking coffee again to compliment the smokes... I then took it just black, of course. Still, I only did it for social reasons. It meant nothing to me except that I looked cool (yeah, right).

Fast forward a dozen or so years... I stumbled upon this man, Dave Asprey. I will let you make your own mind up about him, but let me tell you about "his" coffee. He calls it "Bulletproof Coffee" (BPC) and I FUCKING LOVE IT. I can probably see myself drinking this every day for the rest of my life. Dead serious. I makes me feel so good, I cannot even explain it. It tastes sooooo good. I'll tell you why in a second, but you have to understand the whole "Bulletproof" philosophy first to fully understand the importance of the BPC... even if you do not read any further, I feel my job is done here. Go to his website, twitter, and "newspaper" and read and read and read, over and over and over again... then start drinking BPC ~ ~  ~ Upgraded Self News at

First, take the best quality coffee you can find (check his website for the details, it is VERY important and specific... keep searching, usually it takes a while to find what is considered Bulletproof, unless you immediately buy Asprey's coffee from his website which is hella expensive. Probably worth it, but still, its like everything in the Bulletproof world, you can work your way up to the best if you're working within a strict budget)... add the best butter you can find (Grass-fed is the key here; Kerrygold is Irish grass-fed butter than I've been told you can even find at Walmart. Probably the most widely distributed of the sort, but strive to find local, organic, grass-fed butter from local farmers)... add MCT oil/Coconut oil. MCT is short for "medium chain triglycerides" and Asprey sells a form of concentrated oil (you can find other brands on Amazon/Ebay of course) in which the MCTs are taken out of the Coconut (or Palm kernel) oil, so it is 6x the potency of Coconut oil (coconut oil is about 66% MCTs)...

So you start your day with around a 20 ounce drink of 16oz coffee, 2 T of butter and 3 T of coconut oil... FAT FAT FAT!!! but GOOD fats and a touch of antioxidants and caffeine to get your system going and stable energy flowing through your body for hours.

Trust me, I cannot do this justice. I do not have the science and details that Asprey gives away on his website(s). Go there, do the homework and you'll see. I'm seeing changes in my performance, physical appearance, and how I think and feel already and its been barely 2 weeks on BPC... I have started incorporating BP diet habits into my eating and I love them just the same. It is a shock to our minds because it is so different from what mainstream America has said about food, diet, and life, but it feels SO RIGHT.

Take the bait and see what you feel... dont think too much, eh? Let me know in the COMMENTS section. Thanks to All.


19 September 2012

Dream Diary #3 ~ Two Lovely Women

Not only was last nite's dream just as real as the previous, but it was even more heartfelt and lovely. I got to see my beloved Grandmother, who passed about a year and a half ago and my childhood dog, who passed when I left home for college.

I wasn't able to have a conversation with Gramma, but there was the sight of her face and the feel of her aura. I miss her dearly. With my dog, Lady, we were able to play in a hotel lobby that was sort of a mirror of the dining room in my old house where we used to chase each other and play fetch.


All of a sudden, I am face to face with a strange woman with a guitar. We are on a very small patio attached to a hotel or motel. I cannot tell whether or not there is a parking lot behind us or the ocean; its blurry. The woman has a guitar and seems to be playing, but I cannot hear her. To my right is my Gramma. Sitting, smoking, looking glamorous, as always. To my left is what I feel is my mother, but I cannot see her. There is another unknown woman behind the guitar player, but I also cannot see who she is.

The guitar player starts singing and playing louder. The song is "Know You Rider" and at first it is very nice and everyone seems to be enjoying it, taping their feet, bobbing their heads. Lady is frolicking and happy. The sun is out and for that moment, everything is right with the world.

Not more than a second goes by when the musician starts getting really vulgar. Grinding on the railings that surround the patio. I am quite surprised. My grandmother finds this act to be hideous and orders, who I think to be my mother to take her away from the lewd display. I see the face and clothes of the musician change, disintegrate into a wretched whorish type. I am not completely appalled, but disappointed that my Gramma no longer was outside in my company.

I am immediately transported to the lobby-esque room with Lady. She is in the prime of her life, jumping, chasing, barking, and I am in complete bliss seeing her again. It has been years and years since we've played ball. (Its been years since I've dreamt about her too.) I pounce on her and we wrestle on the ground. She ends up licking my face and snuggling up close. Her ears are the softest thing in the world. A velvet-like surface with longer hair on top, I have yet to see a dog with ears like hers.

I will always hold special places in my eternal heart for these two beautiful feminine Souls. They brought me such joy and now I can say they've done it again; just being themselves and allowing me to feel their vibrations.

I love you Lady...

I love you Gramma.

18 September 2012

Dream Diary #2

I have obviously not kept up with the Dream Diary as I initially wanted to, but the vivid reality of last nite is something I cannot ignore. It was a strange musing on how I miss my roommates back home. The mind is reeeeeeeeally sumptin' ~

The house is different. Why is he giving me that look?
"What's with the look?"
"Dude, I can't believe you did that. Well, actually I DO believe it. That's whats so fucked up about it."

"What the fuck did I do?"

"Dude, you can't do that shit."

"What? I didn't do nuthin'... what are you talking about?"

"That is my family. Andy is fucking pissed."

"Why? Cuz I went to yoga with her? Dude..."

"C'mon man, don't fuckin' do this... just get your shit and leave."

"What!? What did he say?! Fuck that. I ain't leavin' cuz I didn't do shit and you'll see when we all talk about this..."

"There is no talking about it man. Just get your stuff and go."

"Hahaha, you're so fucking with me right now. Really, whats this all about?"

"Holy shit dude! I'm not fucking with you. Do you see my face? Do you hear my voice? That's my fucking family and you crossed the line! Get the fuck out!"

"Fuuuuuuuck youuuuu. First off, who told you whatever it is you think you know and what was it?! Ver-fucking-batim please, this is serious..." (Danielle walks into the room. Says nothing and stares at me. She is obviously on his side.)

"What, you're just going to stand there and not say anything? You owe me at least something... What is going on? You believe it too? Whatever it is?" She says nothing. Walks out of the room.


"Hey man, Andy's coming over and he does not want you here."

"Why is he coming over? Dude, let's just talk it out. I GUARAN-FUCKING-TEE that I didn't do anything! Why are we not calling her? She'll tell you... aw shit. Is she fucking crazy? Is she trying to get back at him? What's the answer to the crazy question?"

"I'm gonna start throwin' your shit out if you don't get in gear, man."

"Fuck you dude, no you're not." He starts walking towards my room. "Bro! What the fuck!?"

"I told you man, now stop being a fucking bitch and just deal with it."

"I cannot fucking believe you right now. I mean, really? Really!? I know you're family 'n all, but we hang more than you and him and shit, if its her telling you this, I mean, do I even have to say it?"

"What, 'bros before hoes'?"

I stare at him. "Are you telling me that you believe her over me?" Danielle walks in and walks up to me.

"I thought I knew you and your whole bachelor-life, single-guy shtick was funny and cute at first, but what the fuck!? You're fucking dead to me."

Shocked beyond words.

"I... I... haha haha, I can't even... I am... just astounded. I mean... am I in some bizzarro world? Are you punking me? Cuz this is gone too far if you are. C'mon you fuckers (jokingly), what's really good?! How long are you going to keep this up?"

He turns and walks into my room.

"Ah, haha, yeah, go get my shit and throw it out! That'll make it even MORE real! Like you didn't have enough negative vibes throwin' at me... shit, I didn't know you two were such good actors!"

He comes out of my room with my guitar and a pillow. "Hey man, what the fuck? (reaching at the guitar) stop messin' man!"

"No man, I am dead fucking serious." He throws it with complete disregard and I know he's not joking. As I stand there speechless, Andy's car rolls into the driveway. He gets out with 100% seriousness on his face.

"Dude, I swear to fucking God I did not do shit!" He walks right past me and into the house. Both of them come out with some of my shit in their arms. I try to block them with no avail.

"Are you goddamn fucking kidding me!? What is wrong with you fucking people!? You're not even together anymore! Its been years and even so, I did not even touch one single hair on her body! I can prove it!"

The larger-than-life Birch catches my eye. The tree-swing is changing into a baby's highchair. It swings furiously. The fucking cats are Cheshire one second and mutant rats the next. (I think to myself) "I am traa-rippin'!"

I rub my eyes and we're sitting around the fire pit. I have invisible chains locking me to the chair. I cannot move and can't talk. The words they're speaking are all muffled and incoherent. They're faces are shape-shifting from mutant to digital to melting paint and then poof, gone. The fire rages and I'm sweating. The house disappears and its just me in a backyard I've never seen. Or have I?

I am IN the tree... He appears in my eyes and whispers to me. "Just... let... go."

I yell, "Hey! No! I HAVE let go. Its YOU that hasn't let go! You're still playing..."

I AM the tree. "I can still talk? What is this!? We are all circlesssssssssssssssssss." The murmur concentric.

Celeste appears. "Haha, 'is Celeste short for Celestial?' really? Nice try buddy..."

I think she's just eggin' me on. Her smile is quirky and well, stellar really.

"Yeah, I mean, you shine like a star, so I just thought..."

She's gone. I am green.

I am just a leaf on your tree now. Hanging on for dear life.

"Don't let go of me. I am part of you. I need you. You need me!"

*the tree doesn't talk but I hear it speaking to me* "I need you for some time, yes, but you'll come back next season... just... LET. GO."

And not only did the act of detachment from the limb I had forever known seem to take forever, again, but the fall was, and is, even more. I see her face and she's innocent. Hope the wind doesn't come and take me away... oh, wait!

05 September 2012

840 Hours: 35 Days: 5 Weeks: 1 Love

the Earth is a celestial living being. It's Life, which is ours as it's gift, is grand indeed. It is growing, changing, and sleeps not all at once, but in cycles and circles. the Earth is connected to the Sun, in all ways, truly connected; of the same matter. The changes in and on everything in our Solar System (and others), not just here on Earth, are constantly and continually happening. Our awareness of them happening is continually growing and the spiral is constricting by the moment.

"Oh Lord, will a mother ever mention something sweeter than the sound of her baby laughing?"

In the next 5 weeks (35 days), the stars will align in 1) ways, familiar ways 2) alignments of the highest repeated aligned in modern conscious history 3) all at once 4) again 5) and you are a part of It. You are doing this as we All are. You determine, not just your own involvement (you chose that eons ago, that is why you are here) but the levels of mercy and severity for that which you experience moments as a human that is now being. Listen to your sacred Heart for it has all the answers, for it Is the celestial manifestation of the All, within us. It cannot live without us. I love you. Om. Namaste.

"to laugh is to be in-joyment... the sacred vibration that connects us as the All." ~ JVR

02 July 2012


UPDATE (9/18/2012):  This post about Sun Gazing is AWESOME. ~ It helped me and I hope it helps you. xo

I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH: "DO NOT TAKE ANY OF THIS FOR ULTIMATE TRUTH" but I ask you to take from this what you will and decide for yourself what YOUR TRUTH really is. I hope this is as enlightening for you as it is for me, but all I know is MY experience. Nothing else... and even for myself, I can envision the end product of my Sun Gazing practice, but that as well is a constructed view from outside sources and past experiences that may or may not form a cohesive and truthful outcome for myself. I cannot say what the future will hold, but I can say what I intend it to be. So be it, so it is! (BUT ONLY IF YOU BELIEVE... do you?)

The following information is what I have encountered and researched before I started my Sun Gazing practice. Take it slow and read/research EVERYTHING YOURSELF before even contemplating this practice for yourself. I do not bear any responsibility on the actions of any other individual after they read this. I struggled with how to or even should I post about this, but after getting positive responses from my closest family members and friends, I feel confident enough to share with the entire world. My heart jumps out of my chest when I think of how empowered each of us are and that we All are One... with each other, with the Earth, Moon, and stars... and especially our Sun. All energy on Earth is Sun energy originally... The Source. What we, the plants, the animals, and the Earth do with that energy is all secondary, tertiary, and so on. So? The question is: Can we go straight to the Sun for nourishment? Just add water and some sunshine... watch it grow. Mmm, mmm, mmm! Could this be the hidden wisdom that no evil power can thwart? Is this the key to open the door to the next dimension in humans' consciousness evolution? The answer to worldwide disease? The entrance into the Age of Aquarius where the world is flooded with enlightenment and peace? Our pineal glands swell with melatonin, serotonin, and DMT... we'll have one eye instead of three?

Sun Therapy practice guidelines for JVR as of 07/02/2012
  1. 0, 1, and 2 are safe UV Index for Sun Gazing, the closer to sunrise/sunset, the closer to zero you get the better. SAFETY FIRST
  2. within the first 45 mins after sunrise and the last 45mins before sunset are the ONLY times to practice
  3. "bare feet, bare earth" (soil, sand, or even gravel) is optimal
  4. start with 10 seconds and increase in 10 second intervals max per DAY until 44 minutes is reached (supposedly the maximum/full pineal gland activation) and then 5-15 minutes per day can be done safely for sustained levels
  5. only one gazing session per day is needed
  6. immediately after your time is up per gazing session, close your eyes and meditate until the image of the sun goes away (not nearly as long as you think, you'll probably be surprised like I was how fast its gone).
  7. in addition to gazing, Sun Bathing in 2-5 UV Index range is encouraged. 45 mins max for safety. individual preference may vary depending on skin type, UV strength, wind, etc.
  8. use a glass jar with clean water to set in the Sun's light for 24 hours ~ drink 3 cups of Sun Water every morning. personal preference on timing (before or after gazing) may vary. Sun Tea is also possible, adding numerous possibilities for flavor with Organic, Free-Trade tea (black tea is best for men, green for women).
  9. HAVE FUN as much as possible! exercise, sex, intimacy, healthy diet, communication/expression, and laughter are CRITICAL in a holistically healthy person. 
  10. eat mostly organic vegetables, alkaline water (, local/pasture-raised organic meat, organic beans, quinoa, & nuts with minimal fruit/sugar intake.
  11. Hemp (*PER DAY* --- as much milk, 1 T Hemp oil, 2 T seeds), Coconut (as much milk, 3 T oil), Chia (2 T seeds) (

Now, here are the sources of information from which I came up with the 11 guidelines for my Sun Gazing practice. As of this moment, I am about to sun gaze for 80 seconds. In combination with the "Warrior" fast described on (I do not endorse any product sold by the Onnit company) that i completed with my roommates about 3 weeks ago, Bikram yoga (as much as I can get to the closest studio), meditation, sun bathing, a mostly "paleo"-esque diet (see #10 above) and fun, I am feeling the best I have ever felt. And this is just the beginning of the best version of me that I have ever be conscious of... or the worst version depending on what perspective you are looking from, haha! I kid, I kid... (forever a child at heart, right? bah-dump ching!)

1) ^^^ The first thing I saw regarding Sun Gazing was this 2-part video of "HRM" (Hira Ratan Manek) giving a speech about his experience and his method. He is the most world-renowned sun gazer and has had numerous studies performed on him from universities to global partnership studies. He has been "caught" eating after he said he does not eat because he supposedly gets all his nourishment from the sun and water/tea/coffee/buttermilk, but he is VERY WISE, kind and I can nearly guarantee you will benefit from watching these two videos. When it comes down to anything, all that matters is that YOU are comfortable, healthy, and happy, so please, this is a long, slow process that in the Grand Scheme of things, is but a flashing glimpse... but this is the one that you cannot look away from, hehehe...

Do not, please, DO NOT try to "mirror" or copy anyone else. This is YOURS and yours alone to build/tear apart and create once again for yourself. It is a great starting point though because I know that in my mind, it did not take me long to find my own method and feel like I was on the right path. I would definitely say this is essential to anyone merely considering a new way to enlightenment via Sun Gazing, even though there are tons of videos out there (probably 10x more now that there was when I discovered it)

2) Here is a 6-year veteran of Sun Gazing in Costa Rica telling his version. He mentions HRM. He has a lot of great insight from a VERY simple and "beginner" point of view. Maybe the best homemade vid yet. Remember, take in all the information you can to make up your own mind and DO NOT trust anyone except YOURSELF. It is all up to you and your innate intuition. Listen to your heart, for realz. Here ya go:

3) the "official" Documentary of Sun Gazing... it's called "Eat The Sun" and its good, but for me, it left a lot on the table, but that's good because it give you incentive to go out and research on your own to make up your own mind. Its a fun watch regardless... here you go:
it follows quite different people in their quest for... whatever they're questing for... and it makes people question the fact that the Sun could be all that we need... except water of course (maybe that's why i wrote the song entitled, "The Sun Needs The Sea"!!?!?? Hey-!O! ...oh my. YouTube it if you care THAT much... smiley face icon... and its under the "Thujone10" channel.

4) Here is the second thing I saw and its a homemade video from a dude. Just a guy who got into sun gazing and is now studying at a Buddhist school. Seems light-hearted and sincere. Its a good, natural experience caught on record... Here you go ~ Part 1 (above) ~ Part 2 (below)

To finish...

All I can feel inside my heart is that this is the truth. This is something that we can All relate to and use. I believe I am a universe unto myself. A reflection of you. A reflection of the All. Eternal Light Beings we All are... is Jesus the Sun? I'd love to get into some human ancient texts together sometime, that'd be fun. But remember... no human being is responsible for writing THE SUN. The cosmos have no religion. This is FREE. No money needed, no religion, no NOTHING. Empty the mind and fill it with LIGHT!!!

The Sun gave birth to us. Why wouldn't it nurture us? Were we a mistake? Is this going to burn your eyes out? Is this all wrong and am I delusional? Is "enlightenment" literal and had by sun gazing? Or am I chasing a manufactured dream that places me in the land of insanity and eternal damnation? Any other questions you have a just and rightfully asked... but also ask yourself, what if this IS it? What if the Mayans knew we had the chance to share their ancient knowledge and thwart our demise in the winter of 2012? What if they knew that we could use this to enlighten ourselves, empower ourselves against the Darkness, and rise up into the 5th Dimension of Consciousness? Imagine a world of harmony. True liberty and peace within all souls that produced a level of peace that in the past, was only in dreams. Dreams come true. My intention is that I am living in harmony of my dreams and my will; each day is a reflection of eternity and I am eternally grateful for the love and light I have been given.

OM. Namaste.


21 June 2012


I do not like the term "born again" or even "reborn" ~ that being said, I love the idea (there it is in itself) that every moment is an opportunity to create a new light/life/consciousness within your heart. "Eternal Photon"... ? Is the mind a conduit that should be left empty in order for the Love to be welcomed into your Being? Emptying the mind is a challenge unto each individual. I believe it would be wise to urge you to meditate and do yoga as much as possible for, in conjunction with healthy eating and the overall nutritional life (which may include dietary and medicinal plants such as cannabis, mushrooms or ayahuasca), laughter, love, and intimacy/sex bring a holistic foundation for bliss.

Then we have this man. Bill Donahue. This is his website: ~ Believe what you will, but if you need or want to sit in front of a television or computer screen anytime soon, PLEASE watch AT LEAST this video. I love his words and intent. It sets me free and empowers my soul. I cannot put into words really, the love I feel when getting into this zone he creates. A hero in my heart... this first short video is Bill and his wife Joan, explaining how they started (please go to the website and read his story before you make any judgements)
Bill uses all knowledge and wisdom he can to paint pictures that are cradles for one's soul as it exists in this consciousness realm. Yoga, Astrology, Pineal Gland, Meditation, Krishna, Buddha, Christianity, Islam, Hindu, Kabala, Judaism, UFOs, Kybalion (, Babylon, Thoth/Hermes, Ancient Egypt, Sumerian, and the list goes on. Practice the single-eye consciousness... cast your energy to the right side!

Before the "heavy" stuff, let's get into something that BINDS US ALL! WATER!!! The source of all life? Well, if you think water is solar light in liquid form... liquid photon? Then water is... well, we all have different feelings about that aspect of water, but we can ALL agree that water is the clear stuff we drink to stay hydrated. Simple. EVERYONE drinks water. This next couple paragraphs are for EVERYONE and specifically the adults and parents who have the power and influence to make water that is as clean and healthy as possible, a big part of their life and the one's they are responsible for's life. Please take a second to read. Thanks!

"I believe I am on a mission to present the means for my fellow humans to realize the height of the most grand, energy-filled, lovely clean WATER! is my new blog to help distribute New Millennium Concepts, LTD's "Berkey Water Purification Systems & Elements" ~ a line of water units and much more. For now, please take note that this is a portal of contact in order for you to get this next phase going. Like everything, change starts within our hearts and then minds, so I will understand doubt and skepticism. I am road-proven and can take any answer, question, or criticism. I am a military veteran who has been around the globe and tasted many of waters. I study the human body and have past graduated with a degree in Behavioral Science with an emphasis on Alcohol, Drugs, Pharmacology, & Counseling, which lead me to understand our body's need for a healthy, holistic environment to thrive in. Also, I am a decade-long student of Bikram Yoga, so I drink enormous amounts of water. I believe I was blessed with more experience than the average Joe when it comes to water. Oh, and I am a water sign, Scorpio, if that matters to anyone :) ~ That being written, the BEST WATER on Earth now comes out of a "Black Berkey" carbon filter with additional Fluoride/Arsenic filters attached. I have never heard anyone say that it wasn't delicious and that they did not notice a difference for the better. And it's "Best" as in the best sourced as coming out of faucets first; some natural pristine springs are probably still best, but who knows if those still exist? I'd love to hear of some if you care to share!

I offer FREE assistance for you to custom fit any combination of systems, shower filters, sport portable water bottles, etc. ~ from any individual up to any large family, its just a "Yes" away. Please, if you have not already, look into the truth about the exact water you’re drinking from what source, who's in charge, what do they put in it, etc. The human body is MADE OF WATER! That begs the question: what is your water made of?

Please go here to see what products are available: ***These prices DO NOT reflect current prices. Ask me about your needs and I will work with what you can afford to do. ***USE AS REFERENCE ONLY***!

Email me at ~ ~ I am available at anytime. I can personally assist you and walk you thru the decision to purchase what unit or unit/combo is best for you and your family. Assembly, use, trouble-shooting, disposal, I am here. I’ve seen and done it all and want to share this PRICELESS reality of near perfect WATER. It may sound cheesy and unreal, but I am so excited about the time I dedicate to Berkey. I am passionate about a product that I have used for years and to be honest, it has made me a water snob, ha! But I wouldn't want it any other way now! I have never been healthier and/or happier and I certainly attribute my bliss to the foundation of life that this amazing water creates inside of my body. Hope to talk to you soon. Drink up, Cheers!"

"Jesus Walks on Water"
and this one... "Krishna The Water Lily is Dry"

Now back to the fun stuff. Let's get weird. Its the most fun! And controversial to some, but hey, I'm always one to push buttons to see what happens, hehehe...
RELIGION IS A CULT ^^^ ~ I do not believe in "religion" for I am a spiritual light being who is having a human experience. God has no religion and I am part of and one with God if I so believe and know it to be true in my sacred heart.

What Bill speaks of is the true empowering spirit of God's love and light inside of us All. This is the stuff that all the human "authorities" from the Vatican on down, DO NOT want you to hear, contemplate, and/or know. Because this DISSOLVES culture and religion. This dissolves the fake authority they have vested in themselves and placed over you without your consent. For they are the reflection of evil and the misguided mind.

Good thing is that you have the power to make them irrelevant in your world. It is just a choice... Love or Fear. What do you choose? Jesus is a rebel and a hero of mine as well... are you sure you know him as well as you think you do? That's the problem many of us have. STOP THINKING. It fucks everything up. Empty the mind ;) ask questions fuheva... was Jesus a Myth? Buddha real? Krishna? Muhammad? Allegories or sages, prophets and or.... what? Stop thinking! I caught you... ha
Jesus Was a Myth Part 1 ^^^ ~ Seek wisdom and try to be it... like yoga, you do not DO yoga, you attempt to BE yoga. In my experience, i love "Bikram" yoga. It is not a "pure" yoga, it has been taken from the full 88 posture-series and commercialized into a 26 posture beginner's course by the founder, Bikram Choudhury, but i thank him for his vision and he can do what he wants with his "company" - it is an amazing gift, a moving meditation and it brings joy in multi-dimensional form. Not only did it grant me wisdoms and will continue to do so, but it changed my physical body forever and I am grateful, wholeheartedly to Bikram for that. I urge you to find a yoga practice that fits you. It creates love. So why not right? In the video above, there are nuggets of fun wisdom... are you a Nazarene?

Another fun aspect of Bill's presentations is how he weaves the Zodiac/Astrology into it all... he does all the signs individually. This is mine as I am a Scorpio. If you want to understand me a bit more, watch it. If not, do not. If you want to watch yours, its there, just look for it.

So, to wrap this up and to send you on your way to Bill's YouTube channel for hours of goodness and all the consequences of your intent for years to come on this Earth and beyond... I say thank you all and if you do have a bit to sit back and relax to watch one more video, this is one of my favorites so far ~!!! Below is the video named "Mind Change & OM" Its a key!!! Do you have the will to open the door? Namaste.
love, JVR

02 May 2012

PART 2: HUMAN. BEING. THIS EXPERIENCE ~ Hold this time old Terence...

*Scroll down for Part 2.

What are you experiencing? Where is your mind? How do you perceive time? How old do you think you are? How old do you feel you are? Where do you believe you were before you were born? This experience that we're sharing... wait, are we? I read a recent quote from Terence McKenna on understanding the universe. Here it is: “You have to take seriously the notion that understanding the universe is your responsibility, because the only understanding of the universe that will be useful to you is your own understanding.” 

Short and sweet it is, right? I thought after reading this quote that as much as I may feel part of a group, team, ethnicity, country, race, or even gender, along with the fact that I do believe we are all connected through the collective unconscious, the simple fact has my soul grinnin' and spinnin' ~ the greatest responsibility of your human experience is creating an understanding of your reality, for yourself to be happy and at peace with. If this is sought and attained, happiness and peace can be real during the seeking process btw, which is where most will spend a lot of their time; it will ripple out of your heart and mind as concentric circles of electric vibration. Call it what you will and at least call it.
A 2 min clip from Terence McKenna.

I have yet to get into my relationship with Terence McKenna. His work in literature, research, art, and basically, shamanism in his own way, has so much love, care, honesty, and wisdom woven in. Its a real shining light that many have yet to see. Share the vision I say... more fun that way IMO. 

Behind the curtain a bit... I usually write my posts all at once. I push through no matter how long it takes me. I sometimes edit, research, and post all at the same time in a wave of energy. Right now, this is just really heavy and I am not sure why. I did say earlier this morning to a friend that I do feel that May Day, yesterday, was a shift. A big shift of mass consciousness. The ripples from our collective hearts are crashing into one an other's even more so than before. The sea is churning! I have to take a timeout and I look forward to finishing this. Who knows, maybe you will have a hand in what the final product looks like? End: Part 1.


Not only do I share a November 16 birthday with Terence McKenna, but our sense of humor too. His book "Food of the Gods" is a revelation and tough read that I'll always have my nose in. I can only aspire to sit in the great seat of wisdom that he once did, but I humbly accept the fact of my peasant origins and non-scholarly upbringing. My family was sort of "scared" of intellect and not only do I understand, but I am thankful. When asked to sign me up for the AP classes at Lincoln Junior High, my mother said no, thus stifling an "advanced" education for my most formidable years. I was also dropped from the Nuclear Technician billet (job) I qualified for when taking the US Navy entrance exam after scoring in the top 5% because of my juvenile arrest for possession of Marijuana (blessing in disguise!). Both of these near hits of placing me in a certain caste have helped form who I am today. Imagine if I had to have served on a submarine? Sweet lord no! I know that I was "smart" enough to be in the AP classes and I know I could have been one of the elite Navy techs dealing with nuclear weapons. Where these roads would have taken me? No one knows, but I do know where they've taken others and I'm not so sure I'd be happy down those roads. Instead, for the most part I was with the trouble-makers, the burners, the stoners, the rock n rollers and the "middle" (forgive me for labeling everyone, I know we're just people but that is my point!)... in the Navy I was thrown into "Deck" Department, which means the castaways, the lost ones, the scurvy shyster bastards, "the moullies," the most interesting lot of fellows ever assembled IMO... both of these turning points helped create a way of seeing things. I have been blessed with understanding and vision of the full spectrum. I may not be "upper-class" but I know we're not any class. We're human and being on the road I've been on has shattered all the false paradigms. I see through the bullshit and I know all the walls that have been built up BY OURSELVES... which must be torn down.

There are two quotes from Terence that I'd like to highlight here: “The apocalypse is not something which is coming. The apocalypse has arrived in major portions of the planet and it’s only because we live within a bubble of incredible privilege and social insulation that we still have the luxury of anticipating the apocalypse.” This makes me think of "privilege" in many different forms. My version of lack of privilege has empowered me and helped me in ways I might not even know yet. I am grateful.

“Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behaviour and information processing. They open you up to the possibility that everything you know is wrong.”

Now, I am not advocating for you to GO OUT TO A PASTURE AND LOOK FOR MAGIC MUSHROOMS GROWING UNDER COW PATTIES ;) but the above quote hits on maybe one of the greatest ideas we must hold true in these modern times. DISSOLVE. To be wise, to be healthy, and to truly thrive in this day and age, we must dissolve all the walls, fears, and delusions that not only my generation were raised upon, but our parents and our younger brothers and sisters too. Break down all the culture that has been jammed into our brains. Empty the mind and fill the heart. I am not the TGIF sitcoms of the late 80s. I am not Michael Jordan's championship Bulls teams of the 90s. I am not my Bikram Yoga obsession of the 2000s... 

No more "building" is allowed! It is time to destroy... with a big silly grin on your face. Which leads me to a brilliant speech by a brilliant Aussie named Max Igan. I highlighted a video from him in a previous post ~ ~ this 28 min flash of power comes back to a timeless  sentiment I first came across when reading about Gandhi. The true key to humanity's victory over its own tyranny is PEACEFUL NON-COMPLIANCE. Stop feeding the beast and it will starve till death. Simple as that. BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD. All is Love and when we find the sacred space to engulf ourselves in the All, the Darkness disappears. The dark Cabal cannot end peace, but piece by piece we can end their war on us with Peace and Love. 
In Joy ~ JVR 

30 April 2012


A welcomed (slight) change to the death metal boogie of ancient hallows and future ends that the BornInTheCall communication system has recently become. Let's talk about Sex and STDs and all the shit that comes along with it, eh? Fun fun fun, but mad serious. Not only did I hear an En Vogue song yesterday that made me think of Salt N Pepa today (no you neva gonna get it, neva neva gunna git it), but I had a conversation with a close friend about sex. It is fun talking sex with experienced women who know themselves and are honest and open. A man can learn a lot if he just shut up for a second. Which I did. Various subtopics arose during our exchange, but the realization of the enormity of risk in these modern times for sex lives is what stuck with me... kinda like the crushing blow it must be to one's psyche when they find out that they have acquired a STD that sticks with them their entire life. Ok, not THAT serious, but still, listen...
The fact I learned for which prompted this entry is that my friend has a friend who has had four (4) sexual partners in their lifetime. Four. Whether or not you think that is a lot of partners or not, is a reflection of your own sexual life experiences. As a 31 year old single man, if I had only been with 4 women, I can guess the general consensus would be that is a very low number. Not sure if potential partners would feel good about that or think I was lame, but in the end, does it really matter? As long as you have chemistry in bed with the one you love at the moment, that's all that counts. Not the past or future, just the now, right? So, I could find statistics on averages and such, but that is boring. All I know is that there is no number that should be a goal to reach or that even just having one partner is not perfect for that individual. Truth is, its your choice and your perspective and motives for experiencing sex, or whatever you describe the act as. Also, everyone fucks differently. Everyone makes love in their own way. Therein, lie the infinite shades of desire, intimacy, unlawful carnal knowledge, lust, jealousy, fever, and dare I say empathy and compassion... Sex is fun and healthy, but like anything else we can imagine, it can be addictive, destructive, and painfully abused for all the wrong reasons. Obviously a necessity for our species :/ but I digress...

The friend of my friend acquired the Herpes Simplex Virus or HSV Type II (most common) or HSV Type I (cold sores, oral)! The HERP! Yikes it gives me the creepy crawlies (i was gonna say willies, but there's enough sexual pun in here already.. or no?) just typing it. Yuck.... and just 4 people. Shoot, I'm sure there are cases in which the person lost their virginity to someone who gave them a STD. That's just criminal right there. Actually, it probably is a crime in some places to knowingly be positive for a STD and have unprotected sex with someone who did not know this fact. How sick are some people?

But you read what I typed right? Only 4 sexual partners and the person is living with this disease that will change their life in such a drastic way... either they will be purchasing a prescription for Valtrex or whatever HSV suppressant pharmaceutical drug that costs a ton I'm guessing... or, you know we do not have to get into it all right now, but just know that the healthy sex life of this person is fundamentally changed forever. That's a fact. Just like the fact that sex is not what it used to be. As humans (d)evolve, so does the complexity and mortality, urgency, and importance.

The conversation kinda strolled into the area of "how important IS the number of sexual partners in someone's life?" and "always wear a condom unless you are ready for a child. period. there is no argument around that." Lucky enough I am blessed to have known so many people with varying narratives to their sex lives, so I've learned from my environment damn well. I know people who have been burnt, I know people with kids they did not plan for, I know people who have been raped and had abortions, I know people who have practiced safe sex and are both clean and baby-free. I know guys who owe crazy amounts of child-support and women who waste that money on themselves instead of the child. I know men who have stepped up to the plate and provide for their child and mothers who either use the child-support money the right way and/or are responsible women who not only work, but run their household like a boss. The whole gamut is represented here so it shows how many choices we have. Which road do you want to go down? It is ALWAYS your choice. Always yours and yours alone.

Also lucky for me, I get free annual tests from my VA Primary Care physician to help reinforce that I'm doing things right. Its like turning in your book report early to the teacher to see if all your references check out and if you dotted your tease and crossed your eyes. I suggest that everyone get tested for everything annually. It takes a couple minutes of your time and could save not only your life, but others as well.
Sex is a very messy, passionate, and powerful act, idea, topic of discussion and bewildering economy. It is misunderstood and romanticized, it is ridiculed and idolized. Sex is not only a human act, but it is the only way humans can experience each other in certain ways unspeakable. It is creation and the little death. You are at you're most vulnerable and yet sometimes, most empowered. You see life clearly through your lover's eyes, but lust can come along and blurrrrr all the lines.

As this is the last day of STD Awareness Month, I am paying tribute to the wisdom of many from my generation that have been safe and not been careless with their bodies... KUDOS TO YOU! And if you're old and ignorant or young and ignorant, its never too late. Guys: WRAP IT UP & DAM IT UP ~ Girls: DEMAND SAFETY & DO NOT COMPROMISE YOURSELF FOR A MAN'S ATTENTION.

P.S. - Ladies, I have an idea for you, being a man who's experienced all different kinds relationships. Consider doing and/or telling your fellow women to save the oral sex for AFTER you get married or enter into a healthy, committed relationship. It is safe and more fun that way and after the honeymoon sex-phase is over, its better than not having sex at all or very infrequently as many busy, working adults in marriages or committed relationships complain of, especially after the 5-6 year mark of said relationship. And double-ly especially after you have kids, from what I've been told. So, if there is unprotected mouth sex happening, STOP (you're giving head with condoms on? gimme a break) and save it for the one you truly love in times when this kind of action, reaction, solution (haha, get it?) is desperately needed. "I'll settle for a cup of coffee, but you know what I really need." Is this not a grand idea? It will be a clean and positive force in your relationship, trust me. Remember, you get what you give, so if you want Mr. Hubby to go downtown... oh, you know what I'm saying. Lastly, if you cheat, you deserve the nasty STD you get, whatever it may be. You better learn your lesson!