16 January 2012

Corsages & Boutonnieres...

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I intend to be a space of freedom for anu. I truly had not dreamt of publishing this. Now, i find it funny and unusually completely natural that I be posting this picture and thanking the girl standing on the far-right in the black dress for giving me that final nudge I needed to make this a reality. IT'S CRAZY! right? right? but no, seriously it is. And now, how i look at everything that has ever happened, how I am me and how you are you. We are all imaginations of ourselves. We are surviving bloodlines thru the generations and generations after generations. For all we have lived through and all the possible moments that we can imagine lay ahead. The only thing I can say at this very moment is that I am alive and this is the only thing that exists... this moment, now. Good thing about this moment now is that it is all the previous moments, all the possible moments, and all the impossible moments rolled into one. Its called eternity, or sempiternity as it is commonly known ;) ...and be Love, and be Love.

Without her existence, I would not be occupying this moment for which I am in right now. This is not to diminish the importance of all my family and dear friends who are much closer to me personally, than she is, but the timing, unexpectedness, and weight of her request for me to start a blog was so precise and perfect, I cannot help but marvel at the meaning her intent has borne in my life. She was the only one to say what she said to me. Maybe not the only one to believe it themselves, but the only one to take action. This is a version, right now, of a part of the story, back then, of how this space of my love and reflections came into existence... thanks, JB.

I got the Facebook message from her on the night I returned back home for a funeral. RIP Chuckie...

She is the current author of a site that soothes the soul's sweet tooth, MemoirsFromMorocco. Jaime and I met during the Indian Summer of 1996. She was a friend of a girl that my best friend was trying to "go out with." He succeeded and we had some good times as a circle of friends. During that year especially, we were at some of the same parties, concerts and classrooms, but during that time I am not sure we even had a conversation more than "hey." Not that there was anything wrong with our non-relationship in high school... we were more or less just acquaintances.

Thru the years, heaps 'n heaps came and went, loves and losses, money bought and spent... you know, life. The next time she was on my radar, we were both in California. Being from a 'nowhere-esque Midwestern city, I always kept an eye out for new Californians from "back home" - it became quite easy to do so with the invention of a website named The Facebook. She was in Los Angeles, I in San Diego. She actually started a Kenoshans in Cali FB page way back in the day, I do believe. Nothing more transpired other than noticing her posts from time to time. The extent of our communication might have been one or two "Likes" over a span of years.

That changed a bit when she up and moved to Morocco. She became a devout Muslim and followed her heart. It was shocking and inspiring to me. Around this time I was going thru a metamorph-gnosis myself. I decided to end my enlistment with the United States Navy and become a full-time college student using my GI Bill. I took the chance, which my wife supported, but the transition back to civilian life from 8 years in the military was extremely hard on us. After five years of a solid and loving relationship, not only was it now in a new and uncertain stage, but we were grown a bit, I was world-traveled, twice to the Persian Gulf and I had woken up from the mental haze of "haze grey and underway" military lifestyles/mindcontrol. I had a new perspective on the world and politics that she could never identify with. She was a college graduate with a full-time job and that was a first for us too. I had months of terminal leave and time off before my classes started. Our lives were turned upside down. Within 14 months, we were in marriage counseling, trying to save what we once had...

During the two years since, I have let go of even more. So much... so so so much. It has been addition by subtraction. Shedding the societal skin of indoctrination, airwave and brainwave manipulation. Religion, tradition, guilt, expectations, fears and hopes... truths of those you thought you knew and lies you thought you would never tell yourself again. I have learned the material world truly is a lie. The less stuff I have in my life, the more room I have for peace and happiness. It is all in our minds.

I was introduced to the Pineal Gland in a Bio Psych class during my studies at San Diego City College. It was an 8-week summer course and the only reason I passed the class was that I wrote my Final on the relationship between Poly-Unsaturated Fatty Acids in the diet and Dyslexia, which my professor had confessed she had suffered from as a child. That paper still seems too advanced for me to have been the writer, but I wanted to prove it to her. Also, it had a strong hand in raising my curiosity about essential aminos, Omega 3-6-9, and other nutritional details that I had previously ignored. After her private lessons and my own research, I have come to a conclusion that the Pineal Gland truly is our Third Eye. I will not get into specifics as the research is not very traditional due to the subject's complexity and/or esoteric importance, thus the real knowledge, striking and vast, is being withheld from public forum.

Please do your own research and come up with your own belief. I bring this tiny gland up because it is a symbol of my faith. I have an unwavering faith in myself, my love, and the people in my life that love me. It is a symbol of strength yet fragility, knowledge yet mystery, desire yet spirituality...

On the eve of the infamous year 2012, I flew into Billy MitchelI still a bit in shock from the recent news. I opted to spend my NYE at home. A year previous, I was hootin 'n hollerin' with the Black Keys at The Aragon in Chicago in the midst of a brief affair of Michigan Ave stature... what a difference a, you know, that period of collective days that billions of humans call a "year," makes... But I was happier 16 days ago than I was 381 days ago and all because of the wisdom obtained from following my heart. The heart is a creator who leads with a foe named the mind that refuses to follow...

After a week I will never forget, for good, bad, and everything in between, I returned to this warm tokus of a city located in the ass-end corner of America only to find that I had a lot of work to do. I owe so much to everyone I have met along my way. There is no time to waste on NOT giving back everything and more to the world! Not just your close-knit loves, but it is being part of the ether, the collective unconscious, the zeitgeist, the universe... consciousness itself.

I will be posting EVERYTHING I can without limitations. No fear cavalier. I will be making videos, sharing music, food recipes, quantum ideas, dreams, book readings, live streaming teach-ins, etc etc etc and I can only hope that it will do the same justice and bring the same joy to you, as it does to me.

Lastly, I must give tribute to the name, Born In the Call. I woke up on a certain comfy couch last week with a story in my Inbox. As I tried to peel myself up from the coziness (thanks Bunny) and the fact I was leaving my friends, I read a life-altering story. It was on the subject of pregnant women using Cannabis as an anti-nausea and anti-pain therapy. An extensive study that WILL change the way you look at "medications" during those prego months and beyond. Start here: ~ within the reading I came upon a term, "born in the caul" or born with the amnionic sac intact around the baby, namely the head. Ancient civilizations believed them to be god-sends with heightened spiritual powers.

I believe each one of us is a God-Send and we are evolving to reach our unlimited potential, not only as human beings, but spiritual beings passing thru the human experience. LOVENOW.