18 September 2012

Dream Diary #2

I have obviously not kept up with the Dream Diary as I initially wanted to, but the vivid reality of last nite is something I cannot ignore. It was a strange musing on how I miss my roommates back home. The mind is reeeeeeeeally sumptin' ~

The house is different. Why is he giving me that look?
"What's with the look?"
"Dude, I can't believe you did that. Well, actually I DO believe it. That's whats so fucked up about it."

"What the fuck did I do?"

"Dude, you can't do that shit."

"What? I didn't do nuthin'... what are you talking about?"

"That is my family. Andy is fucking pissed."

"Why? Cuz I went to yoga with her? Dude..."

"C'mon man, don't fuckin' do this... just get your shit and leave."

"What!? What did he say?! Fuck that. I ain't leavin' cuz I didn't do shit and you'll see when we all talk about this..."

"There is no talking about it man. Just get your stuff and go."

"Hahaha, you're so fucking with me right now. Really, whats this all about?"

"Holy shit dude! I'm not fucking with you. Do you see my face? Do you hear my voice? That's my fucking family and you crossed the line! Get the fuck out!"

"Fuuuuuuuck youuuuu. First off, who told you whatever it is you think you know and what was it?! Ver-fucking-batim please, this is serious..." (Danielle walks into the room. Says nothing and stares at me. She is obviously on his side.)

"What, you're just going to stand there and not say anything? You owe me at least something... What is going on? You believe it too? Whatever it is?" She says nothing. Walks out of the room.


"Hey man, Andy's coming over and he does not want you here."

"Why is he coming over? Dude, let's just talk it out. I GUARAN-FUCKING-TEE that I didn't do anything! Why are we not calling her? She'll tell you... aw shit. Is she fucking crazy? Is she trying to get back at him? What's the answer to the crazy question?"

"I'm gonna start throwin' your shit out if you don't get in gear, man."

"Fuck you dude, no you're not." He starts walking towards my room. "Bro! What the fuck!?"

"I told you man, now stop being a fucking bitch and just deal with it."

"I cannot fucking believe you right now. I mean, really? Really!? I know you're family 'n all, but we hang more than you and him and shit, if its her telling you this, I mean, do I even have to say it?"

"What, 'bros before hoes'?"

I stare at him. "Are you telling me that you believe her over me?" Danielle walks in and walks up to me.

"I thought I knew you and your whole bachelor-life, single-guy shtick was funny and cute at first, but what the fuck!? You're fucking dead to me."

Shocked beyond words.

"I... I... haha haha, I can't even... I am... just astounded. I mean... am I in some bizzarro world? Are you punking me? Cuz this is gone too far if you are. C'mon you fuckers (jokingly), what's really good?! How long are you going to keep this up?"

He turns and walks into my room.

"Ah, haha, yeah, go get my shit and throw it out! That'll make it even MORE real! Like you didn't have enough negative vibes throwin' at me... shit, I didn't know you two were such good actors!"

He comes out of my room with my guitar and a pillow. "Hey man, what the fuck? (reaching at the guitar) stop messin' man!"

"No man, I am dead fucking serious." He throws it with complete disregard and I know he's not joking. As I stand there speechless, Andy's car rolls into the driveway. He gets out with 100% seriousness on his face.

"Dude, I swear to fucking God I did not do shit!" He walks right past me and into the house. Both of them come out with some of my shit in their arms. I try to block them with no avail.

"Are you goddamn fucking kidding me!? What is wrong with you fucking people!? You're not even together anymore! Its been years and even so, I did not even touch one single hair on her body! I can prove it!"

The larger-than-life Birch catches my eye. The tree-swing is changing into a baby's highchair. It swings furiously. The fucking cats are Cheshire one second and mutant rats the next. (I think to myself) "I am traa-rippin'!"

I rub my eyes and we're sitting around the fire pit. I have invisible chains locking me to the chair. I cannot move and can't talk. The words they're speaking are all muffled and incoherent. They're faces are shape-shifting from mutant to digital to melting paint and then poof, gone. The fire rages and I'm sweating. The house disappears and its just me in a backyard I've never seen. Or have I?

I am IN the tree... He appears in my eyes and whispers to me. "Just... let... go."

I yell, "Hey! No! I HAVE let go. Its YOU that hasn't let go! You're still playing..."

I AM the tree. "I can still talk? What is this!? We are all circlesssssssssssssssssss." The murmur concentric.

Celeste appears. "Haha, 'is Celeste short for Celestial?' really? Nice try buddy..."

I think she's just eggin' me on. Her smile is quirky and well, stellar really.

"Yeah, I mean, you shine like a star, so I just thought..."

She's gone. I am green.

I am just a leaf on your tree now. Hanging on for dear life.

"Don't let go of me. I am part of you. I need you. You need me!"

*the tree doesn't talk but I hear it speaking to me* "I need you for some time, yes, but you'll come back next season... just... LET. GO."

And not only did the act of detachment from the limb I had forever known seem to take forever, again, but the fall was, and is, even more. I see her face and she's innocent. Hope the wind doesn't come and take me away... oh, wait!